Making moves off of coastal dreams...

September 30, 2009

Today I experienced the Pacific Ocean through all five senses. Not only was the water chilly, but the air was crisp and it stung. The salt tastes like crystals and sticks to your hair and skin like taffy. The smell lifts your brain beyond your skull which enables your eyes to see beyond horizons. Touch; it's like floating on clouds while sinking in sand. Violent serenity.

I embark on my journey eastward on Thursday Oct 8th. The magic of craigslist has landed me a gig driving a 1996 Subaru wagon cross country. I stumbled across an ad that was looking for someone who was headed east from Portland, and I fit the description. So I will return to Portland after my trip to SF and head out immediately. Since I'm traveling alone, I'll make some stops to see some friends along the way. Eli in Boulder and Elizabeth in Gainesville, and lastly, Shelly in NC. The destination for the car is Raleigh, NC, where I'll meet Steve, the guy who owns the car, and I'll move on to Orlando via train or rail.

The thought of driving over the land of the entire country all on my own is pure exhilaration. As much as I would love the company of a warm spirit and a cool breeze, the wanderlust within me always prevails.

Watch out San Fran, here I come... wooooo. KA-DUGE (kah.-doooouzge)

Ya dig?

Call Me Crazy...

I'm working on a pretty big plan ya'll.

Over the weekend I went to brunch with a friend of a dude that I worked with at home. RANDO. But it was fun, we all cooked and drank mimosa and had a good time. Apparently I haven't turned into a complete social outcast quite yet. I'm not so crazy that I can't carry on a conversation and make small talk with a room full of strangers, this girl has still got game.

SO what's the craziness? Well, it's not official yet... Hopefully by the end of the day I'll be able to disclose more information. For now you can picture me in a black and white movie smoking a slim cigarette through an ivory filter with my elegantly gloved fingers. From underneath my floppy hat and behind my oversized sunglasses I say, "I'm working on something big, fellas," inhale, pause, PUFF, "REAL big..."

Haha, no just kidding, kinda. I'm just all giddy giddy gumdrops.

I do know that I'm going to San Fran on Thursday! yayyyy... So I'm making moves over here on the West Coast, and if things go as planned I'll be on the east coast within the next few weeks.

I'll keep everyone posted.

MUCHAS SMOOCHAS

September 28, 2009

Oh come, oh come! You are the soul

of the soul of the soul of whirling!

Oh come! You are the cypress tall

in the blooming garden of whirling!

Oh come! For there has never been

and will never be one like you!

Come, one like you have never seen

the longing eyes of whirling!

Oh come! The fountain of the sun

is hidden under your shadow!

You own a thousand Venus stars

in the circling heavens of whirling!

The whirling sings your praise and thanks

with a hundred eloquent tongues:

I'll try to say just one, two points

translating the language of whirling.

For when you enter in the dance

you then leave both these worlds

For outside these two worlds there lies

the universe, endless, of whirling.

The roof is high, the lofty roof

that is on the seventh sphere,

But far beyond this roof is raised

the ladder, the ladder of whirling.

Whatever there is, is only He,

your foot steps there in dancing:

The whirling, see, belongs to you,

and you belong to the whirling.

What can I do when Love appears

and puts its claw round my neck?

I grasp it, take it to my breast

and drag it into the whirling!

And when the bosom of the motes

is filled with the glow of the sun,

They enter all the dance, the dance

and do not complain in the whirling!

-Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi

September 26, 2009

Saturday Morning

I just finished my 2nd cup of coffee and I think I'll go read in sun again. Yesterday I did that all afternoon and it was lovely. I also got in touch with Clint in San Fran and let him know my plans for next weekend, which are not yet finalized but he's ready whenever I get there. I haven't seen him for two years!

Then I went to this crazy yoga class. It was hot and it was sweaty and I felt like I could fly. The weirdest thing happened when I got to class though. Being the first to arrive, I sat down in the front of the studio, off to the side kind of. Literally 10 other people came in and completely filled up the back of the studio to the point where it looked cramp before anyone sat in the front with me. I must have had a booger on my face or somethin.

Last night was awesome. We got a pizza and watched TV, then 'Gran Torino' which I hadn't seen. SO good.

This morning I got up early because the yoga class I wanted to go to was at 8:00. So I got that out of the way for today. Chillin out, laxin and maxin all cool.

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

clap. clap.

September 25, 2009

And so the story goes, I'm really enjoying Portland. It's a really nice city and the hospitality at Ann and Brad's is over the top.

If this isn't apparent in my writing, relaxation is controlling my life right now. Not in the sense of laziness, but in the sense of clarity and light-heartedness. Lovely.

I've found another yoga studio that I'm going to everyday, which is helping with this whole happy, healthy feeling I've been going for. Yesterday I went to the Portland Art Museum. They have an incredible collection of Native American art, and I've never seen much of the before. When I get home you can expect me to be hand sewing leather moccasins with porcupine quills and carving utensils out of elk antlers, I wish.

I've got to go play with babygirl Katherine! Looks like I'll be headed to San Fran on Thursday, Oct 1st.

Life is good. The beat goes on.

Oh, except for my first complaint, I miss my shiny, purple bag and my acid wash jeans. I'll just have to wear them each and everyday when I return.

September 22, 2009

Portland, OR

Oh yes, things are still going mighty fine.

My last night in Missoula was a dream. Nicole and I went out to eat at a restaurant that was holding a benefit for the school where she works. It was actually the same restaurant that Will and I ate at on our first night in Missoula; everything had come full circle, I felt complete in Montana. We had one of the tastiest bottles of red wine that I have had in a while and enjoyed the 'all you can eat' theme after camping. Sunday night was chilly. We walked back to the boys' house after dinner and I even folded my sweatshirt arms over tight to my body stay cozy.

By the time we made it back, Sam was working on quite the project in the kitchen to ensure that the night was well under way. And so it was, I spent my last night with Will, Danny, Sam and Ryan. Those boys were so sweet to me while I was visiting. It is awfully nice to see them thrive in the elements that they love most. This whole trip is about me doing what I love and being true. Along the way I've seen so many people who do that every day of their lives, it's inspiring and a good reminder. Just because you can't go fly fishing today, doesn't mean that you can't go another time.

I do find that living in the present makes things difficult for me. To not be happy in the present is impossible, though. There is no reason to be upset because of a moment, I think it works in reverse. If the moment yields happiness, then embrace it. And if it does not, accept it.

Today is my second day in Oregon. Monday morning I met my new friend, Spring, for the first time. I found someone who was traveling from Missoula to Portland in the 'rideshare' section on craigslist. We had a really great ride, making small talk and chatting, and mostly listening to CosmoRadio on XM. It was awesome. The drive along the Columbia River on I-84 included bountiful scenery; canyons, mountains, water, perfection.

I'm staying with my mom's cousin, Ann, and her husband, Brad, here in Portland. The kids are 7, JT, and 10 months, Katherine, plus there are two dogs! I get to sleep in a real bed, which is another huge treat for me. So far I've been spoiled with good food, got to watch JT ride his bike for the 2nd time in his life, and spent most of the day being around a beautiful baby girl; I am loving it.

Today I did go downtown to walk around and see part of the city. It was at least 90 degrees and sunny, still no complaints. We got sushi tonight for dinner and I'm still so full that I almost didn't write this. In fact, I just unbuttoned the top button on my jeans, yesss.

I have postcards that I have been trying to mail since last week, so it's crucial that I remember to put them in the mailbox tomorrow.

If you read this post in it's entirety, I love you, and thank you, and I hope you haven't given up on me yet.

Sweet dreams...

September 20, 2009

Sunday Afternoon

Great weekend in Montana. Friday after yoga, I went to the park with my book and sat by the river. I met up with Nicole when she was out of work and we ate nachos and drank beer. Perfect. The evening was filled with heat, so we simply drank wine and made dinner with the boys. Afterwards, they parted and we enjoyed the night listening to music, being girls and having a sleepover at Nicole's.

Yesterday after coffee, Nicole joined me for yoga and after a short stomp through the People's Market in town, we got ready for some camping. The two of us met up with the boys on the Missouri River in central Montana. Another gorgeous drive, we crossed through the Continental Divide at Roger's Pass and drove with the windows down and tunes up. There were purple canyons and sparkling riverbends. Once we got out to Craig, we found the boys and sat in the sun. They went for an evening fishing adventure, while we watched the sunset. Last night the wind was so fierce, there were storms passing by and the lightning was so bomb. We didn't get hit by any rain so we enjoyed the most wonderful campfire.

Waking up with the sun shining into a tent is so restful for me. Breakfast was coffee, pop tarts and banana-raisin oatmeal. YUM. This morning was one of the ones that I'll remember for a long time. It could have lasted forever; laughs, coffee and sun. But the boys set off to go fishing and we packed up and drove abck to Missoula, it did cool off today.

Fall air feels good and helps wake to wake me up, makes me look around. I also remember how fast the summer breeze passed through.

Fingers crossed for Portland tomorrow.

It's September 17th!

Sounds like a good day; September 17th, 2009.

Here I am, sittin' on the porch at the boys house by myself rockin' out to Lil Wayne writing my blog. Typical.

This morning I woke up to meet Dave Nixon for coffee at a bakery in town, Bernice's. For those who can't quite make the connection, Dave is my uncle, the brother of my dad's ex-wife, Amie. I was very eager to speak with him try to get to know him, having only good memories of him when I was so young. We had a great time. Talked for over an hour, did the mini-update alongside the nostalgic-reminiscent moments. Asking the questions that had to be asked and giving honest answers. It really felt good to connect with and share energy with someone who, by default, really knows where I come from. I'm lucky to have such great people care about me in every and all parts of my life.

I got another free yoga class today. Really good practice, and yesterday in the park I finished this book I was reading about meditation.

http://www.shambhala.com/html/catalog/items/ISBN/1-57062-933-1.cfm

I feel severely clear and light. If my ride falls though on Monday to get to Portland, I guess I'll just have to stay in Missoula a little longer. ;)

THUGLIFE

September 16, 2009

It's not that I don't have enough to write, I've simply been internalizing my thoughts more often. Yesterday I went to a yoga class and found the post office. Those were my goals, and I definitely accomplished them. Today my butt is sore. I made a pie last night at the boys house, and we had another sleepover because I love them and they seem to not mind putting up with me.

Today will be another fun filled day of adventures, I am sure. 

sunshine.sunshine.sunshine.love.

East Glacier, MT

September 14, 2009 Holy Cow

To say that Glacier National Park is spiritual place would not be incorrect, but a more thorough description would include the spiritual beings and energy that reside there. I think I have already decided to give today up for meditation. Not crunchy "ohm" types with incense and bells, but just the quiet type with my pen, paper and a book. And that sunshine that feels compelled to shine everyday.

By the time we reached our destination on Friday we were totally fried. Welcoming us into his home was Marty, Nicole's friend who spends Sept-April staying at a three story ranch house that sits on over 100 acres bordering the park, a summer home for a couple in their eighties. Lasagna came out of the oven followed by garlic bread and corn on the cob. The air out there was much colder, but the stars were brighter than they've been for me in a long time.

Saturday we drank pots upon pots of coffee, enjoyed with steamy cinnamon buns, all before a hike down the ridge behind the house to the most chilling river and daunting cliffs. Later in the afternoon, we bought some unnecessarily large beers and went to Two Medicine Lake. Primarily the beauty you notice comes because it is so secluded, far away and quiet. Even being in Missoula has gotten me used to some noise, this lake was just so shiny and smooth. The water was low enough that we could hula hoop 40 feet out. We met lots of friends from East Glacier and spent the rest of the afternoon worshipping the sun and laughing.

Laughter. I think the next twenty four hours of the trip was masked in laughs. After the best seafood enchiladas at Serrano's, where Nicole works, we went back to our luxurious vacation home where Charlotte and Christina opted for a nap and Nicole and I went for an evening saunter.

Saturday night I experienced Glacier in the pure form of 'The International Peace Park'. Complete with a camp fire down at Billy Bob's and gambling games that were called "Fuck me!" or "Ooo, I'm fucked!", I had the time of my life. I managed to only lose five dollars of Nicole's money, and I also didn't die.

Yesterday we had waffles, and spent all afternoon riding around in the back of a pick up truck and scampering about the riverside like woodland nymphs. Our laughter had turned to giggles at this point, we were footloose and fancy free.

Don't think that I've lost my mind, maybe just that I've adopted a new one. For the first time ever in my life, someone told me that I resembled a young Janis Joplin this weekend.

yee-haw.

x.x.

September 11, 2009

If I could explain my thoughts right now it would be a competition between tanqueray and chronic versus hula hoops.



Today has disappeared. We got a late start, as we spent the night at the boys house due to extreme inebriation. Then I treated us all to mimosas this morning and Sam cooked up so appley goodness cakes and bacon. yum. Back a tthe house now trying to oragnize my thoughts for the weekend. We head up to Glacier National Park in about an hour! Very amped. It is supposed to be another gorgeous weekend. Sunset should be getting ready to go once we get up there which will be perfect. perrrrrrfecct.

I'm trying to embody my enthusiasm and to relay the invaluability (word?) of these experiences thorugh these posts, but if ou could see the smile on my face it would sink in a little deeper for all of us. Just keep that in mind, Laura and Justine have already received picture texts of my face, and I would never be offended to see any of your faces.

Missing everyone everyday, but loving the movement forward.

lovvvvvee.
xx

It's always sunny in Missoula.

Another beautiful day, filled with sunshine and cool breeze. Walking was the biggest part of my day today. I am currently preparing for my weekend filled with brownies and Glacier National Park. yesssss.

Don't be jealous, just be glad.

Miss you all.

September 9, 2009

Wednesday, and I stil haven't found anything to complain about.

A flat tire kept us from getting to Little Blackfoot today. But Sam and Will busted out their man skills and changed the flat in no time. So we re-visited Rock Creek.

Things I did today:

-Saw wild long horned sheep
-Found a fossil
-Made friends with a butterfly
-Ate freshly caught fishies cooked over a fire on the riverside

Today was another one of those great sunny days filled with sights and sounds. Last night we watched 'A River Runs Through It' with Sam and Ryan (Sam and Danny's housemate). Some sort of realism and mystcism was brought to my understanding of Missoula at the same time. The boys caught lots of fish and I read lots of pages. One more day of release to complete this seemingly never ending cycle.

Yoga.last.night. = bomb.ass.time. I wish everyone feels the way that I felt last ngiht in this yoga practice. It ended up being me and this grad student teacher, so she made me do some crazy handstands and arm holds. For your information, I am more like a ninja than I think I ever have been in my entire lifetime. EVER.

Well, now that I'm all worked up, I'm gonna go wind down with a nice glass of red wine.

Until next time,
squeeze it easy.

September 8, 2009

Tuesday morning finds me well rested and looking forward to another beautiful day in Missoula.

Yesterday, I went with the boys up to Rock Creek, where they could enjoy fly fishing and I could enjoy the mountain air. Between the sun, the river and the breeze, it's hard to know exactly where you are. It made me feel unusually grounded and stable; not bad. Invigorating. Not only are the people welcoming, but the landscape offers new levels of home.

Last night was filled with wine and food and friends. Sigh.

And today I'll set off into town. The library opens today, and I'm going to try to find a yoga studio. Sam hesitated, yet has offered for me to help him with his Montucky bracelet and lanyard making production. Hopefully I can do a lilttle of that. So far I'm have no trouble keeping myself busy and inspired.

Coffee's out, morning must be over. I feel that comfort of the East Coast everyday and I'm so lucky for that. This whirlwind is only beginning.

loves.
x.o.

September 7, 2009

It's mid-day and I'm at Sam and Danny's House. Missoula is full of faces and stories that you could never imagine. Things are starting to feel a little bit real. Last night we ended our evening with new friends and a barbecue. Nicole Whitney came over, and we've made plans with some girls to road trip up to Glacier National Park this weekend. Dope.

Waking up this morning with Montana sun on my face and mountains out of my window made me realize I'm at odds with the world. 

September 6, 2009

Here I am in Misssoula, MT!

What am I doing right now? drinking a beer, listening to Bob Marley, and getting ready to grill a steak. I think I'm going to rent a room here for a while. Will and I found a house that had a room for rent and it's really good size. The house is South 11th St, if you want to do some google earth in Missoula. We had a really fun trip out here, as you all know I would have a campfire and a joint every night if I was able. I feel relaxed. Surprisingly so, with no real life support.

The house is two stories. We're on the second, with another guy named Will, but I guess he's not here a lot. The other two guys, Evan and Jon, live on the first floor. There's a bathroom, a living room, a real big kitchen and a backyard. What the hell am I thinking? Well, I can't really answer that one, I find myself not thinking about much and I kind of like it. Things are slower out here. As the mountains got bigger, we began to drive faster, but everything slows down because the sky has no end and the mountains are so prominent. The mountains rule out here.

The west coast is still calling to me and I spoke to my friend Clint in San Fransico today, he's pretty stoked. I'll plan on taking advantage of that and I may be making stops at Seattle and Portland as well. If I could end this journey with a plane ticket out of Boulder, CO, mission accomplished. Otherwise, the east will be waiting for me as soon as I'm ready, right? I'm sending extremely positive energy to everybody back east.

lovvve.
x.x.