In the last hours of my 21-year-old-hood-dom I came to realize very few new things. I'm finally in Brooklyn with Nicky. I'm going home on Monday, and it gives me the heeby jeebies...
Before I begin, I must warn that it is the morning and I'm pants-free in a state of half-asleep-wine-o-delirium. I just happen to feel like I have a lot on my mind, which could very well prove to be about nothing.
I'm excited to hang out with my mom. Yes, mom, that's a shout out. I'm mostly just amped to not have to pack and re-pack my back pack every three days or so and mosey on. There are still plenty of days for venturing. Mostly, I try to focus on today.
A huge part of me wants to say "Screw you" to the world, but there's that same part that wants to say "Bring it on." I'm feeling like I don't care what is being asked of me because I can give so much. The struggle of always wanted to do stuff for other people has been resolved. Constantly making people happy is what it's about, but I'll take my own route, thank you very much.
njktyyyyyyyyy... haha that's what Nicky's kitty had to say about things. ADORABLE.
Justine asked me what I learned from my trip and whether I felt like I changed or not. It will be clear to everyone at home that I haven't changed, we all pretty much know who I am. I know all ya'll pretty well, too. What the circumstances permit is a change in my priorities. If life wasn't so much fun, then why would we all be here? While it's tears me up to think about working today for something I'll be given tomorrow, I do hold some faith in that. More importantly, I can't get so caught up in tomorrow that I lose today, especially cuz it's my birthday. HA, no but I mean that for everyday.
The homeless man on the street thinks I have "gorgeous" hair, and I agree with him. There are small commonalities between us and everyone. Just the fact that we're all here, doing something, even when it feels like nothing, is enough to put us on common ground, maybe even a higher ground.
I've been roaming the country all googly eyed for a while now, and I can't wait to bring it all home.
Happy Birthday tooo mmeeeeeee.
Back to bed,
Into my dreams.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
October 21, 2009
Who was this Steve King? Was he legit? Creepy? Serial killer? He could have been all or none of the above, but he seemed pretty normal to me. He had very kind eyes and he wore Carhartts and rode one of those funny, tiny bikes that fold up (so he can fit it in his tiny plane, duh). We met at a mall in Raleigh, then went downtown to find a restaurant near the Amtrak station for dinner. I had trout, he had steak, we both drank beers. He's 45, lived on both east and west coasts, but his heart is really out west. Two boys, 9th and 10th grade, a wife and I sensed the tiniest bit of cynicism in his manner. Anyways, dinner was lovely, we agreed to stay in touch and he dropped me at the station and I went along my merry way. Down the yellow brick road...
And to a magical place they call Orlando. Since arriving in Orlando yesterday I have heard more Avril Lavigne songs than I have in the past 365 days of my life, its weird. Besides that, it's been great to see my aunt, it's always so relaxing to come down here. Weather has been warm, not necessarily sunny, but the warmth makes your bones work better and just makes you feel lighter. I might be watching too much History Channel, but what's a girl to do?
It's been almost two months since I've been on the road that I'll call my own. A Dream. The things I can now call my own seem like they shouldn't be, but at least they last forever, like Styrofoam. Except mine aren't squeaky and synthetic by any means. I've got all this real stuff swimming around the channels of my brain and saturated in my heart. Thank you, World.
Now it's time to come home. I head to Jersey on Monday, then to the city for the weekend. When most of you see me, I'll be 22. I'll still have blonde hair and blue eyes, but hopefully there will be some extra twinkle and shine.
So much love and plenty of light.
And to a magical place they call Orlando. Since arriving in Orlando yesterday I have heard more Avril Lavigne songs than I have in the past 365 days of my life, its weird. Besides that, it's been great to see my aunt, it's always so relaxing to come down here. Weather has been warm, not necessarily sunny, but the warmth makes your bones work better and just makes you feel lighter. I might be watching too much History Channel, but what's a girl to do?
It's been almost two months since I've been on the road that I'll call my own. A Dream. The things I can now call my own seem like they shouldn't be, but at least they last forever, like Styrofoam. Except mine aren't squeaky and synthetic by any means. I've got all this real stuff swimming around the channels of my brain and saturated in my heart. Thank you, World.
Now it's time to come home. I head to Jersey on Monday, then to the city for the weekend. When most of you see me, I'll be 22. I'll still have blonde hair and blue eyes, but hopefully there will be some extra twinkle and shine.
So much love and plenty of light.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
October 18, 2009
I never thought that the second time someone would tell me that I was like a young Janis Joplin would have been in a South Carolina sports bar. Also, that it would be a 62 year old cop/Vietnam veteran with a mustache, drinking corona who would say it. Yesterday I went to the first half of the Clemson football game, then watched the second half, and then some, at The Esso Club where Ali works. Myself and her roommate had ourselves a great time. We ended up spending all afternoon and into the evening there, before going to a bonfire in the woods (well not really the woods, but whatevs). It was just like home. The confederate flag and The Dead seemed to be a completely natural combination last night, contrary to anything I had ever thought before.
Tomorrow I drop off the car and meet this mystery pilot for the first time. I'm excited to get the car off my hands, and also to get to Orlando and relax int he sun with my aunt!
Love you.
Tomorrow I drop off the car and meet this mystery pilot for the first time. I'm excited to get the car off my hands, and also to get to Orlando and relax int he sun with my aunt!
Love you.
Friday, October 16, 2009
October 16, 2009
Friday Night
From GA to SC.
Leaving Elizabeth was difficult. Two years is a long time to be apart, and it's scary to think that it could be that long until we see each other again. We vowed to not let it be that long ever again. Too long.
Wednesday ended up be an afternoon of movies and relaxation; something I hadn't done in a very long time. When Elizabeth got home form work we hung out on the porch, before going to a friends for wine and then to a dinner of buffalo chicken pizza. I made a jukebox buddy at the bar that night, we played some Dr. Dre, a little Otis Redding and definitely Queen. I've gone from absolutely doubting the benefit of human contact, to energy that self propels within my bones.
The next day we slept in, and hung out. We went antiquing, full of oo's and ah's and shits and giggles. Then back at home came the wine and good company. Brats and sauerkraut, tobacco and herbs. By the end of the night we were passing notes at the bar and wishing I never had to leave.
Unfortunately, after a lovely, early morning breakfast I hit the road and my BFF went to work. The drive was super easy, but lasted forever because of the tears. I think we were both surprised by how much we miss each other. Good friends can be hard to find, but we are all so lucky to have them. I don't like to walk away.
Clemson is sweet. I spent all day in a daze. But it has been really nice and comforting to see Ali. It is easy to sit around, watch TV and just be. Tonight Ali had to work, so I ventured to watch the basketball team do tricks and put on a show to celebrate the first day of practice. Another world unlike mine is that of college sports, yet I had a blast. Glow sticks, pompoms and slam dunks. Mascots and nachos. I felt like I was in high school again, and it was nice to have my mind diverted for a solid five hours of spirited events. I'm very tired.
I do miss home!
From GA to SC.
Leaving Elizabeth was difficult. Two years is a long time to be apart, and it's scary to think that it could be that long until we see each other again. We vowed to not let it be that long ever again. Too long.
Wednesday ended up be an afternoon of movies and relaxation; something I hadn't done in a very long time. When Elizabeth got home form work we hung out on the porch, before going to a friends for wine and then to a dinner of buffalo chicken pizza. I made a jukebox buddy at the bar that night, we played some Dr. Dre, a little Otis Redding and definitely Queen. I've gone from absolutely doubting the benefit of human contact, to energy that self propels within my bones.
The next day we slept in, and hung out. We went antiquing, full of oo's and ah's and shits and giggles. Then back at home came the wine and good company. Brats and sauerkraut, tobacco and herbs. By the end of the night we were passing notes at the bar and wishing I never had to leave.
Unfortunately, after a lovely, early morning breakfast I hit the road and my BFF went to work. The drive was super easy, but lasted forever because of the tears. I think we were both surprised by how much we miss each other. Good friends can be hard to find, but we are all so lucky to have them. I don't like to walk away.
Clemson is sweet. I spent all day in a daze. But it has been really nice and comforting to see Ali. It is easy to sit around, watch TV and just be. Tonight Ali had to work, so I ventured to watch the basketball team do tricks and put on a show to celebrate the first day of practice. Another world unlike mine is that of college sports, yet I had a blast. Glow sticks, pompoms and slam dunks. Mascots and nachos. I felt like I was in high school again, and it was nice to have my mind diverted for a solid five hours of spirited events. I'm very tired.
I do miss home!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
October 14, 2009
It seems like fall has just begun to fly by. Maybe it's a combination of the ground I've covered and of time itself. I can't believe it's mid-October.
Sunday was my last day in Boulder. Eli and I went to a coffee shop on Pearl St, which was designed by the same dude that did Church St in Burlington. It really made me feel like things are going to be just great when I finally do get back to Vermont. The snow and mountains and people in Colorado were great mental preps for home. These simple, little things are what reminded me why I love Vermont. Not to mention that Sunday night we ventured out to a farmhouse for a feast of freshly harvested squash, great wine and some cookies. There were two kittens to play with and easy going people. Happy People.
Colorado had been everything I hoped. I will recommend that everyone watch 'The Onion' movie, I'm not sure if it has a different name but it's hilarious, and 'That's it, That's all', it's a phenomenal snowboard movie.
I hit the road early on Monday morning, it was still dark and I had to brush snow and ice off of my car. Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas. Perhaps the only things worth mentioning were the worlds largest Czech painted egg and 'The Hometown of Carrie Underwood'. I spent the night in a Super 8 watching 'Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back' and eating microwave popcorn.
Free breakfast the next morning and Arkansas, Tennessee, M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I, Alabama, Georgia. Which brings me to Elizabeth. Gosh it is so nice to be here! Last night we drank wine and chattered our heads off before going out to the bar. I realized I haven't really done the bar scene with anyone that I've visited... I totally miss it. So we talked with rando's and listened to bad karaoke; feels like home. After the bar closed we went to a pizza shop that is yet to be open and drank Keystone in the completed kitchen, sitting on counters and talking with the guys who are working on opening up the spot. Elizabeth's friends are good folk, for sure.
From what I've seen, Gainesville is spectacular. I don't know if I can call the mix of people "eclectic", but it is definitely unique. Elizabeth's house is fucking adorable. She had to go to work this afternoon, so I'm catching up on my correspondences and drinking too much coffee. Tonight we shall bar hop and rampage and continue to tell high school stories. It's been two years since my BFFFFFF*inF has been home, so we're having no qualms with being OOC (out of control). Rockin' It.
Stay tuned...
Sunday was my last day in Boulder. Eli and I went to a coffee shop on Pearl St, which was designed by the same dude that did Church St in Burlington. It really made me feel like things are going to be just great when I finally do get back to Vermont. The snow and mountains and people in Colorado were great mental preps for home. These simple, little things are what reminded me why I love Vermont. Not to mention that Sunday night we ventured out to a farmhouse for a feast of freshly harvested squash, great wine and some cookies. There were two kittens to play with and easy going people. Happy People.
Colorado had been everything I hoped. I will recommend that everyone watch 'The Onion' movie, I'm not sure if it has a different name but it's hilarious, and 'That's it, That's all', it's a phenomenal snowboard movie.
I hit the road early on Monday morning, it was still dark and I had to brush snow and ice off of my car. Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas. Perhaps the only things worth mentioning were the worlds largest Czech painted egg and 'The Hometown of Carrie Underwood'. I spent the night in a Super 8 watching 'Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back' and eating microwave popcorn.
Free breakfast the next morning and Arkansas, Tennessee, M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I, Alabama, Georgia. Which brings me to Elizabeth. Gosh it is so nice to be here! Last night we drank wine and chattered our heads off before going out to the bar. I realized I haven't really done the bar scene with anyone that I've visited... I totally miss it. So we talked with rando's and listened to bad karaoke; feels like home. After the bar closed we went to a pizza shop that is yet to be open and drank Keystone in the completed kitchen, sitting on counters and talking with the guys who are working on opening up the spot. Elizabeth's friends are good folk, for sure.
From what I've seen, Gainesville is spectacular. I don't know if I can call the mix of people "eclectic", but it is definitely unique. Elizabeth's house is fucking adorable. She had to go to work this afternoon, so I'm catching up on my correspondences and drinking too much coffee. Tonight we shall bar hop and rampage and continue to tell high school stories. It's been two years since my BFFFFFF*inF has been home, so we're having no qualms with being OOC (out of control). Rockin' It.
Stay tuned...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
10 Days Later
There's white stuff on the ground and sun in the sky!
I'm not sure how it all happened, but I'm in Boulder, CO. A constant state of delirium has been clouding most of my thoughts and days for the past ten.
The five days I spent in San Francisco were some of the craziest. First of all, the train was awesome. I made lots of friends and had SUCH a fun time being social and sing-along-ing and learning. There was even one friend who rode the train back on the same train as me... lasting friendships. It's rare that there would be opportunities to have fun and laughter on a 17 hour overnight train ride, but I did it!
Once in SF, I was pretty tired, but didn't want to sleep. It was sunny, and beautiful so I walked around and found a hotel by noon. That afternoon I spent time by the water lounging in the sun and soaking in that air. Just another day of freedom. That night I had a great dinner at this little French bistro on Market St. Nights in a hotel for me usually consist of a little bit of wine and a lot of Comedy Central/History Channel, so I had a great time!
Saturday morning was filled with mild anxiety, I was going to Lovefest all by my lonesome. Turns out, I had so much fun... Go figure. Besides the underage kids and scantily clad everybody, I found the music beyond captivating. Mostly electronic, I just danced the day away into the evening, into the night. Truth is, I don't really need anyone if all I'm going to do is bounce around to different stages weaseling my way to the front and getting down.
On Sunday I checked out of the hotel in thoughts that I would be meeting up with Clint later, but I left my bag here so I didn't have to lug it around. A nice morning walk was perfect for my hung over self, not to mention the hot sun and fresh air. I went to brunch at a really nice place, Zuni, recommended to me by the chef at Sarducci's. Tasty. On my way out, I inquired about the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival, yes, it was free, and yes, it was at Golden Gate Park, and yes, music played til 8. Well DUH, I went. I won't bore you with the spiritual details, but just imagine listening to Little Feat live in the front row, standing with to 55 y.o. deadheads and having a guy screaming "Free Marijuana!" while plunging nuggets into your hands. Surreal.
I lost my phone sometime before that show ended... Without being able to get in touch with Clint, or anybody, I took a cab back to the hotel I had been staying at and slept. The next morning I called my phone again, and someone finally answered! Yessssss, so I spent the morning bussing around to some rando neighborhood, but someone out there is looking out for me. I got my phone back safe and sound and finally made my way to Clint's. Clint looks great, he's still the same as he's always been, just way more pleased with his lifestyle. He's shaggy and scruffy and full of ideas. That afternoon walking around the sunny, bright campus at Berkeley we talked and talked, it was really nice to see him again. His house is so nice and chill, and after a sunset hike on the hills, I realized my comfort. Some things really do never change, Clint and I can still kick it, even after two years and a change of coast.
Tuesday was my last day in the city. Exploring the booths at the Ferry Building farmer's market I bought some stuffffff, some grubbbbbb, and spent the afternoon in the sun. Between the parks and the outdoor patios, it's easy to pass time in SF. Back at the train station that night, I at least had company to look forward to. It's hard to leave somewhere so great, especially knowing that it was the beginning of the end of my journey.
Seeing Ann and family on Wednesday night was so nice, we went out to dinner and just hung out, caught up. Thursday, the driving began. We drove to Hood River to pick up my Subaru, met the owners fam and off I go. The first day was 12 hours to Salt Lake City, where I spent the night with one of Ann's friends. Driving has felt great so far. I'm listening to 'Outlander' which is 33 discs... I'm on 13 now. Friday I made it to Boulder. There was snow coming down on my drive and stuck on the mountains, awesome.
Eli has been great. Friday afternoon we went on a scavenger hunt around campus and the neighborhood, lots of exploragating. Not to mention the insane snow that was falling from the sky all night long. Pretty Dope. That night we went to his buddy's house. beer pong.
Yesterday was the day. We went snowboarding. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I can't believe it even now. Only one run, but snow and sun and happiness. Another feeling of pure bliss and freedom surfaced and shined. Also, we piled five kids into one Subaru, so it all felt right on. Exhausted on the ride home, we got back and I cooked dinner for all of us. YUM. Then we partied last night. Straight up college party. King's Cup and Pong.... It was fun. I was a little nervous, but I pulled this one off as well. Another college party, really is just another college party, so no prob.
Walking home last night we were just hooligans. We threw snowballs at strangers and ripped down caution tape. Sliding down the ice on sidewalks and making friends with enemies. I'm so happy to be here... but I will be leaving, either tomorrow or the next day.
Things are going well for me right now. I'm starting to get nervous about going home, but not giving myself enough time to think about it. Soon I'll be in the FL sun with nothing to do but think, so I'll go back to my meditation then... There's lots to be processed. Taking it all in, and I'm holding on to it, too. I don't wanna lose this.
Love you all.
Snowflakes and Sunshine.
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